MJ: Will ALWAYS Be Remembered....

When I heard bout the news of MJ's death, I was skeptical. I didn't wanna believe them dam* reporters! I was in denial. I confirmed it through CNN.com (reliable source) and I felt my heart sink. How could someone so "godly" die so young? Does being good qualify you to die young or is it just being an icon stress all your cells & die prematurely? I was sad, it was like someone close to me dies... someone I knew... It's MJ, everybody got to know him because of his music. His music is like a script of his life & he was a great influence on a lot of people, not just Americans. I reminisce my elementary years & all those singing I had to do just to pass the dam* classes! My two song choices (only song choices) are "Dangerous" by another artist & "Heal the World" by MJ. Those were the only songs I know by heart because "Dangerous" was the fave song of my bestfriend, Monica & "Heal The World" reflected my soul's intention. I know his (MJ) other songs but I couldn't memorize the lyrics, just the refrain part (I'm Miss Refrain). Right now, I'm chatting with other MJ fans, I'm able to cry with them as they share their fondest memories with MJ's songs. I'm also battling with pessimists in the net coz they have so much to say against MJ. Give him a break! He's dead & soon you'll be but the difference is that the world won't cry for you! MJ is not a God nor saint, He's just a person who is capable of loving & getting hurt like us but before he died, he left a legacy that will always be remembered. When I have kids & grandchildren, I'll share his music & his love for the earth & people so that he will never be forgotten. Wherever you are MJ, may you be at peace & smile knowing your kids are ok & we are continuing our support.. You will always be remembered, King of Pop, Michael Jackson!

When everything's been said & done...

"I hate my Mama..." Those were the words I'd written in my diary that my Mom accidentally read. It tore through her heart & opened her eyes to the truth that she never realize was there, I never felt her presence. I grew up with a complete family & the full attention was on me.My needs were given and there were times even my wants were easily provided, I can claim life was easy. Then my brother, Modart, ruined that scene, that feeling. I felt like I lost everyone. He was always the baby, I was invincible. He gets everything he wants, I get the leftovers. Life was unfair. I became a rebel by not attending my classes. I felt like life was cruel to me so I should do what I want & not do what I don't. That simple. Moving on, I did everything that could hurt my Mom (not my intention to hurt my Dad but he got hurt as well) except drugs. I partied with wrong friends, I drank alcoholic drinks, I smoke and most of all, I lied to them a lot. That I did to let my Mom realize that I also exist & I need her too. All it took was four words, "I hate my Mama..", for her senses to return. A gap existed between us since then. I didn't exert any effort to get close to her but I can feel that she wanted to do something that could break the walls I built. Then came the time I was in college. I didn't wanna take up Nursing (Mama's a nurse) but I was obliged to (by Daddy) since I had to make-up for my rebellion days in High School. I never loved my course & never will maybe because I lack the strength to face dying people, comfort the love ones or to move on when someone dies on my shift. I am strong but not that strong.. I studied in Mindanao after my two years in Cebu. There I felt the need of her hands, of her touch. She didn't know I got sick for 2 months for crying at night wanting to snuggle next to her at bed (and asthma). I missed her so much that I felt the need to go home at least once a week. I wanted to tell her that I can't bear another day in Ozamiz, that it kills me not to know she's ok. At that time, she already suffered CHF or congestive Heart Failure, Hypertension & Diabetes Mellitus. Then she suddenly opened up & asked me how I felt that time I wrote those four striking words, I was out of words. I couldn't tell her exactly how I felt but one thing come out of my mouth, "I love you Ma.." I said that in utmost sincerity... I love you Ma... We cried & forgiveness was apparent. Who would know that the damage of those four words would be healed by another four words..? Now, it's almost her birthday & I just want you to know that I love you Ma... No matter how plain those words may seem, I love you... And i'll never ever ask for another Mother as loving, as understanding & as giving as you. Happy Birthday Ma & I wish that God will give you more years for us (Me, Matthew & Modart) to express our love & gratitude to you... We are a year away from fulfilling our "London Dream" & Modart's gonna fulfill your "American Dream". We ♥♥♥ You! I LOVE YOU MA!